Haven’t got any campus gossip to blog about but thought I’d get a bit personal this time just so I can come back to this later on and reminisce. Ever been in this state of mind of perfect relief, and calm? I get ruffled... Sure I do.... I still have that harassed expression on with that manic spark in my eyes... the dark circles and bags under my eyes add to that deranged look that my mother wishes I would stop wearing...
But honestly I wake up smiling in the morning now. Which is unusual when usually, the routine; the norm would be to wake up worried or questioning why I was born.
I still see no purpose in life.
You are given so much and then you die but you take away with you nothing, at least nothing you can be certain off. Your rotting carcass is left for the maggot banquet or burnt to ashes. You ARE CONFIDENT that others will hold on to you and you will never fade away . If you made a mark in the world maybe you will be immortalized in literature, or a picture of you framed in gold and hung on a wall or through your prodigy nurtured with such care but then you become just a name with no face or face with no name or your prodigy fails to carry that torch you kept a light so carefully.
But then you get these small mercies in life, when hard work pays off, when denial doesn’t seem that bad, when madness makes sense... and in these blessed moments you are given a chance to wake up and smile... And I thank ‘life’ for these small mercies that makes the toil worth it.....
